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why is a raven like a writing desk

[ website | Trouble Breathing ]
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(5 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

fireside and cockroaches [22 Sep 2005|07:02pm]
Remember the fireside bowl, cause I don’t ever remember it looking like this www.firesidebowl.com , there’s no piss or cockroaches in that little movie they got. Speaking of cockroaches (first time I’ve ever been able to say that) here’s a fun little story. I’m in school and there’s this rather big girl eating out of her backpack during class. So she’s reaching into her bag and coming out with hunks of big mac, or a whopper, one of two. While she’s chewing away a cockroach climbs out of her bag (same bag as the burger mind you) and just stands on top wiggling it’s antenna around. Then after about 10 seconds it climbs back in and her hand goes right in after it and comes out with more big mac.

(14 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[12 Jun 2005|11:07am]
so i've forgot how to use livejournal, not only did i not post what i was trying to, but i deleted the last entry in here, i think i figured it out

here's my myspace again (since i deleted it)

this is what happens when you buy a $13 blender

did a junkie follow you to your car today?

it's amazing how fast a man who looks like they shouldn't even be alive can move, he was wearing nothing but skimpy jean shorts so maybe that cut down on the wind resistance

on another note i unknowingly gave the apartment building next to mine a nakie peep show again, i'd like to say i wasn't giving brandy a hot ass dance at the time, but i was, so i won't, but i have been flashed a couple of times from that building, so things have a way of evening out

move here if you want to get in on the hot action

i'm going to see the get up kids for the last time in my life tomorrow night, don't know why i didn't see them more when i lived in kansas, they've been good to me

(22 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[31 Jul 2004|01:52pm]
i'm in san diego bitches

(72 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

the necessary supply [27 Jun 2004|07:51pm]

you may have noticed that i haven't had the internet for some amount of time over 8 months, when i lived with sexy dave, it's been nice, made me realize that i don't really like having it

since then i've moved three times, kept the same job, showered very unregurly, thrown up in an airplane, and drank plenty wonderful glasses of irish car bombs

i'm now living in a ten story building at the edge of lakeview/wrigleyville & buena park, just a few steps north of boys town, speaking of boys town, it took two hours to drive brandy half a mile to work, because of the pride parade, i'm sure it's dave's fault. anyways, i live with beautiful brandy who feels the need to make fun of me when i call carbonated beverages "pop" instead of soda. we live with a four children, skeebs the cat and our four piranhas: edward fin hands, professor poontang (a.k.a. pedro the fish), amelie', and the baby named chandler bing captain jack sparrow. i've never been happier in a home, or area

every weekday i drive up lakeshore drive to evanston where i walk dogs for a living. it sounds sad, but i get paid 14 to 20 an hour, no taxes taken out. sometimes there's even people that pay us to sleep in their house when they leave town. sexy dave got a job working with me, he began sleeping with our boss so he could steal some overnights from me, goddamn i hate dave

we have a wine rack filled with boonze farm

in the winter skeebs got sick with a repertory infection, he became so dehydrated a piece of his nose fell off, causing to bleed all over himself. after he got better with constant armpit rubs and some chinese happy pills for cats i put him on a diet, and some grade A food. he's lost 7 pounds, and is coming in at a very sexy 18 pounds. he acts like a kitten now, and is having some sort of love affair with the hallway wall that i haven't figured out yet. he also has a slut bed made out of black feathers

i'm reading "the devil in the white city" about h.h.holmes who, in his self designed mansion of trap doors and acid baths, killed over 100 people in chicago. best non-fiction ever

scare tactics is the best tv show ever

here's a story. adam came back to chicago to get his stuff from julie's and move back to brooklyn, he came over here, by some strange fate we ended up watching gigli on tv, after watching gigli i can honestly tell you there is no god, anyways, there's a retarded guy in the movie who wants to go "to the bay watch", at one point this guy does a dance for his "peeps and hoes", at one in the morning we decided to say no to gigli and take adam home, whilst taking the elevator to the lobby he decides to do a rendition of the peeps and hoes dance, this causes the elevator to have a heart attack and come to a violent stop, i seemed like a good idea to push the "talk" button, this is what happens when you press the talk button: A female answers and says this is blah blah something elevator service, you say "i'm stuck in an elevator" then say your address, a scary man then repeats back the same thing you said, the woman comes back and says to stay on the line (i'm not sure how to not stay on the fucking line), they then hang up on you. you repeat the process with the same results. not knowing what the fuck is going on adam presses the button, lady answers, he says "um... what are you supposed to do if you're stuck in an elevator", so they hang up on us again. so the next idea is to press that little button with the fireman helmet on it, surprise surprise, it's not a real button. since the elevator is all steal there's no phone signal. so we use our rock hard bodies to push the door open, which has another door made of wood behind it. so from here we're able to get a hold of the real fire department. They show up with an arson of sledge hammers, axes, the jaws of life, and what is the tool they use to get us out of there, of course, they use a fucking screwdriver. door comes open, there's about 8 of them, they say "are we interrupting anything, then just leave. moral of the story, don't watch gigli

to brandy's dismay i've only missed watching about 4 cubs games this year, fucking white sox

new cure cd is out this week, then they're playing here in august. pedro here tomorrow and tuesday

that's all i can bring myself to type, bye kids

pictures for your momCollapse )

(23 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[27 Jun 2004|06:42pm]
i think it's almost been another goddamn year since i have used this thing


i made a myspace, because i'm a fucking loser, but i'm friends with a leprechaun on it, so now who's the fucking loser

--Myspace Link--

(55 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[25 Jun 2004|04:15pm]
guess who began illegally stealing the internet today


(80 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[27 Feb 2004|06:16pm]
ashley got my cat's name tattooed on her ass

keep missing me

(59 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[06 Jan 2004|11:21am]
p.s. i'm not dead, just moved to the 2000 block of western, and don't have a computer, if i remembered my new phone number i'd put it in here, my birthday's on the 19th, drinking competitions all around, i'll be back soon enough

(94 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[27 Nov 2003|11:59pm]
[ mood | full ]

i had a pretzel rod for thanksgiving, just like the pilgrims

(117 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

It's much more than a book of old pictures locked away without a name [11 Nov 2003|06:37pm]
the inflatable matress that i tend to sleep on seems to have a hole, the hole cannont be found, i blaim this on julie for giving it to me... for free

got back from new jersey what i think was a week ago, i'm not even sure

new jersey is an evil evil place full of males who should choke, especially ones who pull up infront of the place i'm staying at with baseball bats and intentions of killing me and my car, kristy and brandy decided to save my life though

saw kristin in philly, she puked all over the place, this was after she said she could drink me under the table

the night brandy and i got back to chicago the streets were flooded, so we decided to play in the knee-deep water in the streets of course, dave joined in because he has no friends

been looking for a new apartment for julie, adam, brandy, skeebs the cat, zito the cat, reggie the iguana, and me to live in for january, i don't think adam has been doing anything, goddamn i hate that adam

also been looking for jobs, fun times

might be moving back to kansas for december, but if i get the job that i interviewed for today, then i can't go anywhere

someone should buy me finding nemo on dvd

while cleaning the bathroom i decided to mix bleach and CLR together to clean the tub, then found out that the CLR says do not mix with bleach or it with make some kinda deadly death gas thing, so i decided to cancel out the deadly death gas by opening the bathroom window, no one died, but the bath tub is now burnt with the color brown, and that's why i'm not supposed to handle chemicals

went out to watch steph play guitar last night, she's better times two, and her songs are stuck in my head again

i have four tickets to jerry springer on december 15th, do you?

i'm almost sure that the sharon osbourn show is on tv at least 10-15 times a day

i have a gallon of goldfish crackers

this is all i can type right now

these are some pictures of me that my little sister took and developed when she was here, she then scotch taped them together and mailed them to me, and that's why i love her

---->pictures of penguins, lions, kristy's breast, and pianos<-----Collapse )

(60 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[02 Nov 2003|01:27pm]
i'm still in new jersey

i was a cowboy for halloween

we should be coming back to chicago today

i'm the best i've ever been

(23 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

help if you can [25 Oct 2003|06:04pm]
in philly now, this all happened in one of the cities i was in last night

Our beloved label-mates and dear friends Murder By Death had their van broken into on Friday night while they slept in a Cleveland hotel room.
They didn't just have a few things stolen...they lost everything.
The band takes great pride in their equipment, most of which has been hand picked with great care over the course of their entire lives. Among the equipment stolen was Sarah's cello (probably worth more than your first car), All their guitars and amps, Mattt's prize collection of pedals, Alex's entire drum set, Vince's piano, etc. Everything.
In Addition, ALL of the bands merchandise was stolen. T-shirts, newly printed hoodies and glassware, CD's, and everything else.

Murder By Death is not a typical local band with day jobs. They make their living as a touring band. All at once their life's work, their livelyhood, and all their posessions were stolen. Imagine having your home robbed and losing your job at the same time. It is absolutely devastating. They are currently stuck in Ohio, with nothing. Their new album came out just under two weeks ago.

Murder By Death is part of OUR family. They're supported and loved deeply by their label, and their fans, and us, their friends. We need to all join together to help our friends in a time of need. On their behalf, Eyeball is asking that anyone who has ever been touched by these beautiful kids, and this incredible band to please come forward and make a donation to help them rebuild their lives. A paypal fund has been set up and we ask you all, even if you can only spare a little, to please help our friends. The email address is littlejoegould@hotmail.com
If you can not afford a donation, and live within 200 miles of Cleveland, please call each of your local pawn shops and music stores. The most prominant and unique instrument to ask for would most likely be the Cello. Ask if they've had anyone in to try and sell one, and let them know that if they do in the next few days to please contact the police immediately. Here's your motivation:
Eyeball Records is offering a "no questions asked" $5,000.00 reward to anyone who can provide solid, reliable information leading to the retrieval of the stolen items. You can write anonymously to info@eyeballrecords.com

(45 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[24 Oct 2003|01:23am]
driving 763.52 miles to philly, 57.16 miles to new jersey, then 813.96 miles back to chicago

sleep well and dream

(119 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

critisism at inspiration [20 Oct 2003|07:30pm]
the past days have been spent with my mom and sister who came up from kansas

all the field museum has is stuffed dead animals

while next to wrigley my sister got to see her first fight, at first it was entertaining, then one guy got punched in the forehead and started bleeding, soon the two guys were trying to push each other in the street so a car would hit them, after a car missed one of the men by about 5 inches it got a bit scary, my sister began freaking out, so we walked away for her sake, the cops showed up, one of the men ran, we saw him later in an alley crying, best part was, that these guys were doing a fund raiser for cancer

while downtown we saw a high-rise on fire, later we found out six people died

my mom bought me so much food, all i've really ate the past month was rice, the idea of eating a lot scares me a bit

with help from my little sister we then convinced my mother to take us to new texas chainsaw masacre, wasn't scary at all, original is much better, it did start out good though

watched a man beat newspaper box with his cane while yelling "i'll fucking show you, yeah, keep talking asshole, keep talking"

went to see murder by death last night, because my mom left late, dave and i didn't get there until their last song, there's no reason for a 5:45 show

they were opening for a static lullaby and my chemical romance, who we stayed and watched, since we missed mbd, there were about 30 kids wearing duct tape around their shirt sleeves, if anyone knows why, please tell me

while walking out of taco bell after a girl came up to dave and i, told us she wanted us to know we were "a couple of hotties", then said "i love rock guys", it was rather scary, i also never knew i was a "rock guy"

things are about to change forever

this weekend i'm driving to philly to see kristin, who i haven't seen for such a long time. if anyone lives between chicago and philly and doesn't mind me sleeping on their floor then you should speak up

after philly, the plan is to go to new jersey, get someone, and bring them back to chicago, then eat cereal

two times out of five, this is what you see when you walk into the bathroom

---->pictures of this and that<-----Collapse )

(69 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

lousy unfinished poetry [14 Oct 2003|01:45am]
"painting with the lights off, casting haunting shadows over our grinning faces"

i am writing just to stay warm
your corpse asleep on my feet
fetid eyes peruse the cabins ceiling
redolence of all that you said staggers from your last breath
snowed in four weeks
lighting candles to set the mood
coming face to face with what I once loved
i will lick your mouth to savor the pus
carving scintillating cicatrices in your throat
never could cloak the fine cutlery
lacerate your lip
you always loved to bite
well fuck what you adore
i will serrate your heart
caress it as it withers in my hands
this is for your smoking champa
this is cabin fever at its nonpareil
in the morning i will have nothing to show for you
i am so hungry my love
i will eat you dead
because you ate me alive

(133 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

asphyxiate, stifle, and dout me, i can't wait for you to break my face [12 Oct 2003|01:40am]
[ mood | drained ]

cubs won, i will sneak into the world seris somehow (cause there's no way they'll lose the next three straight), then i will purchase underage beer there somehow, then i'll vomit on a red sox/yankee fan (who ever they play, hopefully the sox), then i'll smeep

some of you might remember me telling the story of walking into the back area of a spa and walking in on a fat hairy naked man getting a rub down, turns out it wasn't a fat hairy naked man getting a rub down, it was much much worse, what appeared to be a fat hairy naked man getting a rub down was actually a fat hairy naked woman getting a bikini wax, just think about that for awhile....

a little strung out since dave's gone and can't keep me inline

went to dominik's for medicine at two in the morning, i've got the sniffles, i let this blond 27ish something lady go in front of me cause she was only buying a snickers bar, when i got to the parking lots she got out of her car and walked to mine, she asked for a cigarettet, i opened up my car pasenger door to get her one, handed it her, she asked if she can get in my car, i told her she had a car, she said "but i want to go in your car", i asked why, she's says "because i want to go for a ride", i say "so... um... i'm going to go home and sleep now, bye", i'm guessing she was a prostitute or a dirty dirty dirty whore like julie

the other night we had a roommate meeting, at one point we brought up complaints on other people, dave brought up the complaint that i don't ever wear pink pants around the house, so erin went in her room and came out with some hot pink pants, and of course i had to wear them, expect a picture or two, i'm the house little kid/bitch, dave won't even get me a glass of water when i yell at him from the other room for one either

the complaint of my kitty drinking out of the toilet was also brought up, but he refuses to drink water out of a dish, and he can also lift the seat, so that does no good, adam's even seen him get on a counter and open the freezer, every night all 20 plus pounds of him goes sprintting up and down hardwood floor hallways, it sounds like someones bowling

my mom and sister are coming to chicago for a few days, i'm bringing me little sister to see murder by death, she liked their first cd so i'm sure she'll have fun, i'm going to make her dress in my clothes

i bought imitation mountain dew called mountain breeze, what the fuck is up now

i also got a whole pint of "fresh mountian strawberry" shampoo

my car also got broken into a few days ago, it was sitting right in front of our house, they smashed out a window and all they took was the face to my cd player, they could of at least taken the whole thing to make the robbery have a point to it

morgane told me to put eyeliner on and take pictures for her, so i did, because she's morgane, i also wasn't sober

---->pupil dialation and some what homoeroctic pictures<-----Collapse )

(52 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

it's so fucking cold here, since you brought in the snow [05 Oct 2003|11:32pm]
this is going to take some time to type, and the cubs are fucking winning right now

i miss morgane, so much

there are few shows that are as fun as the lawrence arms cd release show was last night

brenden's drunken talks were amazing, everything about the show was amazing

sidenote: mihows version of the show is much better, and much more entertaining and sexy (---->the writings of mike mihow<-----)

finally saw the ghost play

saw mr. danny andriano of alkaline early in the night, we did a quick hi and a "i'll talk to you after the show", later we had a good little talk, at one point he started rubbing my shoulder, everyone around was turned on, he's still not sure about playing on halloween, but i've been guest listed for the 30th, and halloween if it's still on

the cubs just won!

ashley judd

while the arms were playing a guy who appeared to be close to tears walked by with a man with a flash light, after they left my foot touched something on the ground, i look down and it's a camera, not a digital camera, but after getting home i find out that it's a 150 dollar camera

i was talking to some girls early in the night about i don't even remember cause i was still really hung over from the night before, after the show one of them brings me a pink postet note, tells me not to read it till later, i open it later and it says that they want to be my best friend, and has their number and what not, i thought it was cute

ashley (who i can't believe i actually spend time with after years of knowing her), her friend, marc, mihow and i come back here, we do nothing but sit, then el cid

today i wake up and remember hot water music is playing

i call chuck in hot water music's cell phone, it's no longer his cell phone number, it's now some crazy spanish guys from florida cell, that's just annoying

i talk to one of the girls that gave me the pink postet note, she says that she's going to be interviewing hot water music tonight so maybe she can get a message to them

i then talk to adam, we decide the best thing to do will be to go up to the aragon and try to find them and get guest listed and add more free clothes to my closet

we get there at 2:30 and there's already about 100 afi fans outside, no good, we walk around to where the buses are, they're all fenced in with security, no security people would bring us in, talk to this really nice girl that works for afi, she calls hotwater's merch girl, tell her to tell them i'm there, she never tells them because she's a dirty whore, not really, but she's new and should be better at passing messages along

adam and i wait longer to see if maybe they'll come out, while waiting two women start fighting a block away, one lady had walked by the other one on crutches, and the other lady started trying to steal her crutches, they then were rolling all over and one of them was pretty much beating the other with the crutches, adam and i decided it was too fucked up to be a real fight, but when the cops showed up we were a bit amused, the cops exact words: "take your crutches, and nappy claws, and get out of here on the el"

at this point the afi fans are starting to get very annoying and i was wishing i had a few bricks to throw at them

we then leave, missing the guys in hot water coming outside, we go farther downtown where a friend of his works at a spa

we're all having a nice little talk in the main room, then i ask if there's anyone in the spa and if i can go in, she says there's no one in there and i can go in, i open this door and everything is white with a hallway full of doors, i open the first door i see, inside the door is a NAKED FAT PALE MAN getting rubbed down by a lady, i mean huge huge naked hairy fat guy, the lady slams the door yelling something, i walk as fast as i can right out of the spa, and right out the front door and leave that place

then talk to the girl that gave the pink postet note to me again, we make the plan of when she's interviewing them to have chuck call me

so we go to some college dorms to get adam's friend emma, i think i told emma i hated her about 20 times, we get on the train and get there

talk to the postet note girl again, she says they weren't able to interview them, so i'm a little bit fucked at this point because i don't have 20 dollars to put down on a band i've seen 50 times already, even if they are an amazing band

this black man (i'm only saying his race to explain this part of the story) comes up to me and rambles something about tickets, it took three minutes to figure out that he was selling them instead of trying to buy them, he ask how much i have, i say 10, he says they're 20, i say i have 10, he says how bout 15, i say how bout 10, he's started to get very pissed at me right about now, i then ask to see the ticket to make sure it's even real, he pulls out this ticket that was printed off the internet and i ask to see it, he starts to yell at me that he has white people in his family, since i suppose he thought i didn't trust his computer printed ticket because of his race, he then starts yelling at people in line to show me their tickets, at this point i say i don't want it and start walking, he says "okay ten i'll sell it for ten", i won, he then starts with the white people thing again "i could even be your uncle you cheap fucker", the funny thing is that since i told him i only had ten, that i give him a 20 and make him give me 10 back, he was about to kill me

we go inside this huge place, i hate this place and never hope to go there again

i get patted down by security, no digital cameras allowed, so i have to go to a pawn shop and give the guy the camera, go back inside

kelly osbourn walks by, she's huge!

we go upstairs to one of the biggest venues i've ever been in, it's made up to look like it's outside and has pseudo building around it, i hated it

the first band "bleeding through" didn't even count as a band, they wouldn't even count if they were a joke band, worst thing i've heard in years, the singer would do little rolls around the stage while the bass player did jump kicks over him, so bad

hot water music starts and adam and i push our way though 1000's of afi fans, most of which tried to hit us in the face, we get up close, and these kids are fucking pissed because we're moving around and singing and enjoying ourselves to a band that doesn't wear eye liner, one person said "save if for afi", and a girl began to hit me, i was laughing the entire time, we decided to move to the left front instead, we found this group of about 4 kids that were actually there for hot water, probably the only four in the entire building, i seemed to get sucked into a pit and had to start playing "dad" for all these little 12 year olds who were at their first hardcore show, so had to keep picking them up off the ground and brushing them off and sending them on their way before they got their heads stepped on, all while trying to enjoy myself, finally was able to get out of the "pit" and back up into an area of people that didn't want me around them, it's okay cause i had two guys next to me that were having just as good of a time as me, towards the end of their set chuck sees me from the stage, he gets this goofy smile, starts doing the "head nod" at me, and i smile back at him, that goes on for awhile, i love chuck, chris also, they are some of the sweetest guys i know, and in one of the best bands around, i just wish they wouldn't get new cell phones all the time

then left right after they finished, if it were three years ago i would of stayed for afi

now it's a possibility that emma might come over and we'll break things

today's lesson: spend more time with adam cause he brings the crutch fights and naked fat men, and, everyone hates mihow

(52 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

your hands on my face, every step of the way [04 Oct 2003|04:29pm]

the story i was told this morning is that i fell asleep at the kitchen table, apparently i took 15 shots in 45 minutes, i don't remember florida mike coming over the second time, he for some reason decided to take a shower after sprawling out on the bathroom floor here and then slept on the couch, which he doesn't remember either, i'm a bad influence on dave, because i got him to join in

go cubs

time for the lawrence arms cd release show

two more from last night, and a few from my roomCollapse )

(39 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

Murder By Death Tonight at the Courtyard Cafe in Champaign, IL [03 Oct 2003|05:07am]
[ mood | tired ]

it took marc and i five and a half hours to make the two hour drive to champaign, amazing show, some fire, best band ever

lots of murder by death photos and some scarecrowsCollapse )

(52 afraid of who’s afraid of the virginia wolfes | i didn't mean to make you feel out of place)

[29 Sep 2003|05:01pm]
a few people have asked to hear some of my songs after they heard that i played last monday night, well today i recorded one of them on something i downloaded, i made the mistake of playing with the special effects on it, then i couldn't get rid of the effects, and of course i'm a lazy dirty bitch and don't want to record again, so here you go

---->this is my voice, my singing, and my guitar playing, a first for some of you<-----

the words for anyone that caresCollapse )

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